A day in the life of a model

I'm sure many brides get all excited about their bridal shoot, but I was not one of them. I didn't bother to check out potential locations for the outdoor shoot. I didn't lug along bags of clothes, shoes, accessories or cute knick-knacks. I didn't even have my manicure and pedicure. In short, you could say I was rather blase about it.

But I have to admit that I was a little apprehensive on the day itself. After all, I didn't have a photogenic face, unlike my sister, or a great smile, like C. Luckily, I have a good photographer -Y was funny, reassuring and encouraging.

Gradually, I gained in confidence and began to revel in the novelty of the experience as I tried to follow Y's instructions - sit up straight, shoulders relaxed; occupy your hands; don't tilt your face too high or too low etc. After all, it's not every day that one gets to lead the life of a model. In fact, there were even moments when I nearly forgot myself and could say I almost knew what it was like to be a model.

Posing in front of the camera is fun, but it can get tiring after a while, especially if it involves trying to look cool or loving under hot and humid conditions. Still, I enjoyed every bit of the shoot. Indeed, thanks to this valuable experience, I've corrected some of the misconceptions that I had and gained newfound respect for the work that models do. 10 poses in 10 seconds, anyone?

The search is over

Yes, I've found a photographer for my wedding day. When every single photographer I emailed replied to say he was already booked for the day, I became so fed-up I decided to call instead. And I hit the jackpot on my first try - E was still available!

We met, and he revealed that someone had sort of "booked" him for our date but never got back to him after that, probably because she had found someone else.

And it turns out that he's a Catholic too. Well, it may not mean anything to anyone else, but I saw that as a sign from God that He's been looking out for us. Don't get me wrong - I didn't sign up with E for religious reasons; I truly think his skills are good. But things happen for a reason. Though E wasn't my first choice, I believe there is a reason why God "saved" him for us. And I shall leave it at that.

Elusive search for a wedding day photographer

I don't even remember the last time I've been rejected so many times. Practically every photographer I've approached - the good and the not-so-fantastic - has claimed to be unavailable on my wedding day. Indeed, I've come a long way since the time I said to C that it doesn't matter even if we don't engage a photographer to cover our wedding. In my defence, I was thinking of those photographs of the contrived and cringe-worthy "pose-and-say cheese" variety then, which I still believe I can well do without.

But I've since come to the realisation that I do wish to have something with which to remember the most important day of my life, when I say "I do" to the man I love in front of the God I love. I want to have something that I'd enjoy taking out every now and then, something that will take me back to those memories every time I look at it, so what better than photographs?

Videos won't cut it for me - they say far too much, leaving nothing to the imagination. I'm looking for something that will evoke that special day, not masquerade as that special day. I don't need to have every scene of that day replayed in every minute detail for me; what I want instead is for my mind to be allowed to take flight and indulge in the process of recollection - an activity which could very well be as pleasurable as the contents of that recollection themselves.

So the search continues. But when God closes a door, He opens a window. So I'll keep the faith.

An unexpected act of kindness

A few days ago, I boarded the bus only to find that my ez-link card was out of cash and I was out of coins. The fare was $1.10, so I took out my $2 note and started looking around for someone I could ask for change.

The nearest passenger - an old Chinese woman - shook her head at me before I could even finish asking my question. So I approached the passenger sitting behind her - a Malay woman with three or four kids in tow. She took out her wallet, emptied out her coins, then asked me how much I needed for my fare. "$1.10," I told her, thinking that she wanted to know which denominations to give to me. Instead, she gave me $1.10 exactly. I looked at her almost in bewilderment, but she just said simply, "It's ok." Only then did it dawn on me - she was giving me the $1.10 for my fare! I was quite stunned; I don't even remember the last time I was at the receiving end of an act of kindness from a complete stranger. I thanked her profusely and proceeded to pay my fare.

When I turned round to find a seat, I was greeted by a middle-aged Chinese man and woman who simultaneously offered me change for the $2 note that I was still clutching. I accepted change from the woman, then returned the money to the Malay woman, but I could not help feeling a little disappointed.

No, it's not that I didn't want to return the money to the Malay woman, but I just felt that by so doing, I had somehow diminished the magnitude of her kind act in some way. That act of kindness from one fellow human being to another was unconditional and undiscriminating - something precious and valuable in an increasingly selfish and materialistic world.

Preparing for marriage

I recently attended a marriage preparation course for Catholic couples religiously for six weeks in order to obtain a certificate that allows me to get married in church. I must admit I'm quite glad it's over, as it has been quite an intensive experience, but that's not to say that I didn't enjoy it or benefit from it.

The notion of preparing for marriage must strike some people as being rather strange, as opposed to the idea of preparing for one's wedding, which would hardly raise an eyebrow. I think many people still hold the belief that when two people in love decide to get married, they must be adequately prepared in some way or other already. But I think the life-changing experience that is to come is hardly something that most dating couples can comprehend, hence the need for marriage preparation.

Although many things that were said during the course were not exactly new to me, such as the need for communication or the need to make time for each other, the opportunity to learn vicariously through the experiences of other married couples or fellow dating couples was something that I found valuable.

The course also served to remind me that couples should not take each other for granted. It is so easy to become careless in considering the feelings of one's other half, to neglect to accord to one's partner the respect he or she deserves over time that one more reminder is never one too many.

The road to marital bliss will never be a smooth one. But if couples treat each other with respect and take the time to communicate with each other, then this road will definitely make for the most enjoyable ride of a lifetime.

Europe here I come!

My life has been a whirlwind of activity lately - not least because I've been spending hours on the laptop, labouring over the itinerary for my forthcoming trip to Britain, Paris and Switzerland, sometimes even staying up just so that I can work on finding the best value-for-money accomodation or check out various sights and attractions.

The experience has not been wholly enjoyable. Many times, I've wondered - like C does - why I'm racking my brains and sacrificing my sleep when I could just take my pick from the range of packages offered by travel agencies. True, they may not be customised to my preferences, but surely that's a small compromise to make in exchange for the convenience?

But I've soldiered on, telling myself that the rewards will come on the trip. Every trip is transformed into an adventure with the knowledge that one is completely on one's own, free to decide when and where to go or stay and for how long, as well as the opportunity to veer off the beaten track.

The experience of going on a self-planned vacation can be truly liberating and exciting - it makes one feel that one is really taking a break from the confines of routine and the grind of daily life. That is the whole point of going on a holiday, isn't it?

Why I am a Catholic

I think some of my friends were surprised when I converted to Catholicism four years ago. Even as recently as a couple of days ago, one of them asked me why I became a Catholic, saying that he never knew the reason for my decision.

I'm always reluctant to tell people why I decided to become a Catholic, not because I don't wish to share with them my experience. It's just that I feel whatever I say will not only fail to capture the reality of how I feel but, worse, will inevitably sound trite to the other party.

But if I have to say something, I guess I would say that it was gradually becoming clear to me then that God was never far from everything that had happened to me. I believe everything happens for a reason. I may not understand the reasons, but I was certain that God had His reasons, that even when things didn't go my way, God was taking care of me. It's not that I never knew that before, but there is always a gap between knowledge and reality. I believe it was God's grace that allowed me to see the knowledge as reality, to experience it rather than merely to know it.

When I came across Psalm 139 - "Oh God you have searched me and you know me" - where David dwells on God's intimate knowledge of him, I was intensely moved, and it brought me to the realisation that God could well be the soulmate I was searching for. After all, isn't everyone looking for someone who really understands them?

And when it comes to soulmates, isn't God the perfect One? He may not do it deliberately, but imperfect Man is perfectly capable of letting one down when one is in need. Everyone can be there for me sometimes. But God is the only one who will be there for me all of the time.

For me, then, the decision to become a Catholic can be described as a decision to commit to the One whom I know loves me, takes care of me and will always be there for me.